1 Topic by ezHarley

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Topic: Think my niece might be gay

I'd like to get some advice on how I should approach this issue. I have a niece that is in her early 20's and I am pretty sure that she is gay.  She reminds me soo much of myself when I was her age. She talks about how cute some guys are and she has boyfriends, but they seem to be more like "friends" then boyfriends. I always thought that I was over analyzing things until last year when she met a girl (who has a husband) and my niece`s world seems to revolve around this girl. I do not know if there is anything going on between them beyond being friends.

I`d like to talk to her about it but I`m afraid that if I start suggesting that she is gay that she will shut down and not talk about it, or worse, resent me for thinking that she is. She knows that I am gay and says it`s no big deal and it does not make a difference to her; she still loves me.

What should I do?

Last edited by ezHarley (2010-11-25 12:51:50)

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2 Reply by shanna

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Re: Think my niece might be gay

this is difficult but the only thing you can do is try to talk to her...and why would she not talk to you...you are gay and that isn't a problem to her so don't think she would mind if you ask her is she is. and explain to her why you think this...
It's your choice but i think you should talk to her.. good luck..

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3 Reply by LmtChellimarie

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Re: Think my niece might be gay

Hi...

if your niece already know that you are gay and you have a good relationship with her, then i think it should be fairly easy to talk to her and let her know that whatever she chooses to do... you'll support her as long as whichever relationship she decides to get into is a healthy one.

Most importantly, you want her to be happy....  I don't think she would resent you... i think she would appreciate having someone to turn to and help her with the process of coming out if that's the issue. 

good luck and keep us posted...

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4 Reply by ezHarley

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Re: Think my niece might be gay

Thanks for the advice.  I guess I am afraid to tip the boat (so to speak). She doesn't seem to have a problem with me being gay but if I suggest that she might be and it turns out she's not then I have a feeling that she might get offended. She's really sensitive and I'm think that I am going to have to do a lot more thinking of how exactly I can approach her with this issue.

Then again, maybe I should just leave things the way they are. Since she knows that I am gay I would assume that she would just come to talk to me if she thought she might be gay. She's difficult to read. I'll keep you posted to let you know what happens, if anything happens at all.

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5 Reply by love.u.

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Re: Think my niece might be gay

You could try talking to her about her relationship with the married woman - feel her out in that way.  Ask her how close they are and why, etc.  You'll get a better sense of where she is emotionally in terms of her own sexual identity by doing that.

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