Yes I am Sill Hiding ,man when you hide you have to lie about everything I HATE IT!

My partner and I are buying this awesome house in town...we're so excited...and I feel like I can't even tell my coworkers that I'm moving!  It's ridiculous that we can't even talk about our lives because we are hiding.  Can't talk about our vacations, even our weekend plans because nobody knows that I'm a lesbian and am in a wonderful, long-term, loving relationship with my beautiful partner.

Yeah im still hiding too, like a few of you seem to be. I have only recently accepted to myself that i am gay, so its gonna take me a while to feel comfortable enough to tell my parents. I am in a relationship with a girl and wer'e very happy, but hiding isnt easy. I think my parents have an idea because theyve never seen me with a guy apart from one time. That one time was when i tried to be straight even when i knew i wasnt, not the best time of my life but its bought me to where i am today. I have told my 2 best friends and they were shocked, but hugged me and said it didnt matter to them.
Does anyone have any advice on how i should come out?
Thanks

Yeah its kinda hard to know whats the right thing to do, i guess everyones situation is so different. I have gay friends and im all for gay rights, and everyone knows that, even though they may not agree with it. I think the best way may be for me to write a letter and try and explain, really dont think i can tell them face to face.

I don’t want to come out, out of fear that any and every stereotype held by others will immediately be attached onto me. Saying I AM GAY feels like I am then owning all the negative and false ideas and judgments everyone else may carry. I know who I am and what is true for me, but the self hatred and shame comes in when I think about how others will then see and treat me. Living like this is insane.

Last edited by andtech (2010-12-09 05:14:57)

I've been out on with my friends for what seems like forever.  I have only been out at work for a few years.  Coming out is a different experience for everyone.  What makes it easier to come out is to have the support of a family of friends.  People who you can trust and talk to about anything.   Even though people want to put labels on everything, remember being gay is just one piece of who you are and the people who love you may not know that piece but they know the other pieces.  Even if they can't handle the gay piece right away, at some point they will remember they love the rest of you regardless of how they feel about that one piece.

Well i thought id update and tell someone the good news.... I woke up on sunday and decided to come out to my mom. I wrote her a letter that came straight from my heart and left it for her to find when she finished work. I would have liked to have told her face to face but i was not feeling strong enough for that. I got a text message from here saying how she wasnt mad, she is proud of me, she is always there for me and will love me no matter what. Yes i cried a lot and just the feeling of not having to hide from her is the best feeling ever. I am not ready to come out to anyone else yet including my dad but im hoping to in the new year. I also told my mom that i had a girlfriend and shes been really cool with that too and said she already kinda knew. Safe to say theres no way i would have done all this without chely, i dont know her personally but hearing her views and reading the book opened my eyes to who i really want to be. I cannot wait to thank her for everything shes done for me in June at the R&R benefit, im travelling from the UK to Nashville to be able to see her and thank her.
Good luck to anyone who has plans to tell someone they love, its the scariest thing but theres nothing wrong with being who god made u and always keep that in mind. 

Wow! You did a great job! You can be so proud of yourself...i know it is difficult but later it feels better...and i'm sure that you are strong enoug to come out to your dad some day!! Good job girl!!