1 Topic by caremin

  • caremin
  • Member
  • Offline

Topic: Public Displays of Affection

So how's this one going for y'all? At holiday times this issue seems particularly irritating to me. Personally I am driven to the point of extreme frustration by the knowledge that most heterosexuals are “offended” by ANY displays of affection they may witness between even the most committed, mature homosexual couples.
While playful looks, comments, hugs and hand-holding are usually met with an adoring “isn’t that wonderful” expression when observed between straight couples, the same cannot be said about their same-sex counterparts. The knowledge of the social awkwardness that could potentially ensue hijacks the naturalness of my interactions with my partner. We find ourselves in an environment governed by a double standard of conduct for us and our straight equivalents. It’s a “you’re here – you’re queer, but just don’t do anything to remind us of that” mentality that drives me crazy. And here’s why: this is a discriminatory attitude that reveals a very low level of acceptance of homosexuality. It is a covert form of homophobia that promotes heterosexual privilege, and drags down my sense of self-worth as a gay woman.
I am in love. It is the most natural thing in the world for my partner and I to hold hands, link arms or sit closely together. Should the fact that my partner is also a woman rob me of these natural pleasures? Should this offend others? Should I carefully avoid any hint of physical contact while in the presence of heterosexuals? Or should I follow my heart and deal with friends’ and family members’ disapproval?

Quote Post 1

2 Reply by Spellbound

  • Spellbound
  • Member
  • Offline

Re: Public Displays of Affection

Personally, when I'm with someone, I will hold their hand etc when out. I make no comment or judgement of anyone else and expect the same in return.
I feel that if we constantly hide then full 'acceptance' (I hate that word, makes me feel like we're meant to be tolerated and approved of rather than just 'be') will never be possible. The more people who hold prejudices and hatred see openly gay people holding hands, then the less scary we will be. There is no difference between you and your girlfriend holding hands than Ted and Margaret or a mother and a child.

The world is full of enough hate, if a little bit more love can be allowed to shine through, that can't be a bad thing in my book!

Your friends and family shouldn't disapprove of you, they should celebrate in your happiness. It may not be the way they wanted but at the end of the day, it isn't their life to live and if you're happy, you should show it. You wouldn't expect your parents or siblings or anyone else to hde their love for their partner so why should you...... I mean, its not like you're getting it on on the dinner table! hehe 

Last edited by Spellbound (2010-12-28 18:14:02)

Quote Post 2

3 Reply by Cassandra_261

  • Cassandra_261
  • Member
  • Offline

Re: Public Displays of Affection

This is truly frustrating for me bc my partner and I only get nasty looks when we are next to each other even if we r not holding hands.  I am a total "stereotypical" gay person.  I am butch woman who wear mens' clothes...just what i am comfortable in.  I have had people stare at me so hard that they run into things.

I think that everyone in the world should be allowed to hold hands if they want or give the person they love a kiss.  It is nobody's business who they do any of these things w.  I personally don't care for making out like no tomorrow in public but that is me personally.

Quote Post 3